Babysitting is a rite of passage and for many us Gen Xers and millennials — but that rite of passage seems to have come a lot earlier for us than it’s coming for our own kids. My oldest turns 12 this summer and just recently started babysitting for close family friends. Their kids are 7 and 3, so it’s not like she’s watching tiny babies or toddlers, but many people are shocked when I’ve shared that news with them. They’re even more shocked when I share that our friends offer her $25/hour.
Meanwhile, by the age of 11, I was spending Friday nights babysitting from 7 p.m. to 2 a.m., waiting on a dad that barely spoke two words to me to drive me home after handing me a $30 check.
Things are (thankfully) very different these days.
But the question of, “When is my kid old enough to babysit?” is still a pretty big one. And like most parenting questions, it really depends on your kid. Their personality, their level of responsibility, their own confidence — it’s like my mom always says about leaving kids home alone. “I could leave you home alone at 10, but I don’t think I let your brother stay home alone until he was at least 13.” (And even then he was doing things like putting firecrackers inside our metal fence posts “just to see what would happen.”)
One mom turned to Reddit for advice, asking in the subreddit /parenting, “When did you allow your kid to start babysitting?” The original poster (OP) shared that her 14.5-year-old daughter “is proving to be very industrious and really wants to start making her own money.”
OP noted that they aren’t ready for her to have an actual job, but that her daughter has expressed interest in babysitting for local families in their neighborhood.
“I think that would be a good fit for her, but I have some reservations. I told her if she was serious, she’d have to cover half the cost of the Red Cross babysitting course, that way she can learn some CPR and other childcare basics,” OP wrote. “Is this too young? I don’t have any friends with kids she could babysit, but we do live in a very tight knit neighborhood with a lot of small children.”
OP also noted that their child has handled babysitting her own siblings fine, but OP is still nervous.
“Part of my struggle with this is I also need to let go a bit; I can’t objectively tell how much of a helicopter parent I’m being about this,” she concluded.
The age-old dilemma.
I’ll be honest, I think this kind of babysitting situation is the best kind. In their own neighborhood? With families they probably know? A great setup. And I think things like this really give our kids the chance to prove their problem-solving skills, practice responsibility, and gain confidence in a safe setting.
“14.5 is definitely old enough to babysit. You want to raise competent adults, they need to be able to flex their independence to learn to be responsible away from you. You want to set your kids up for success. You don’t want the first time they have independence to be when they move out,” one commenter wrote.
“You’re being a helicopter parent. That is not too young to babysit or even have a ‘real’ job, and honestly, I don’t know what your objection to either would be,” another added.
“Semi-tangential but I am reading a book called The Self Driven Child and it basically says whatever your teenager has motivation to do, help them do it! Don’t suppress her motivation! She is showing initiative, so find ways to support her in reaching her goals!” another comment recommended.
That’s the biggest green flag to me — when your teenager expresses interest in trying something new (something that’s tough and hard to do, even!) and is willing to be educated to do that thing and put themselves out there, it really feels like something to lean into. OP noted in one comment that she just assumed nobody would want to hire a 14-year-old to babysit, and a commenter replied with a perfect response:
“Well, if you allow her to babysit and other parents don’t want to hire her, that’s a lesson about the market that doesn’t come from you,” they wrote. “My guess? Plenty of parents will want to hire a reliable, competent 14.5-year-old. Babysitting is expensive and can be hard to find. I think this is a great way for your child to earn money.”
Again — this couldn’t be a better setup if OP tried. This will be in an area that OP’s child feels safe and comfortable in, with families she knows. It gives her the chance to spread her wings out while still being in her comfort zone, and it gives OP the chance to let her fly (while also still firmly in her own mom comfort zone).
It is worth noting that if you think your child is old enough to babysit, you should check your state’s laws. Different ones have different laws about the recommended ages for babysitting, and with that knowledge, you may be able to find local classes taught by your community’s public safety office to make sure your kiddo is ready to lead their very own Baby-Sitters Club.
“In general, no it’s not too young. Not all 14-year-olds are mature enough to babysit, but many are, so if she can pass the Red Cross babysitting course she’s probably ready for it,” one commenter wrote.
“I babysat at that age, made fliers, took the Red Cross infant and child CPR and first aid course, and did a great job. I took it really seriously. I think it depends on whether they are able to be responsible and level-headed but it was a great experience for me,” another wrote. “I’d let my daughter babysit at that age if she showed she could handle the responsibility and it didn’t affect her grades.”
You know your child best. Maybe your own 14-year-old is nowhere near ready because, like my brother, they’ll be using a ladder to climb a tree and potentially chopping a finger off. But in this case, it sounds like OP’s child is definitely ready — and maybe it’s just OP who is a little anxious about letting her grow up.
