Courtesy of Kirsten Miccoli
- Kelly Ehlers is the CEO of The Evoke Agency, a social media agency she founded in 2010.
- Leading with kindness has helped her get to where she is.
- Her book, “Nice Girls Win: How Kind Women Can Create the Life They Deserve,” debuts in August.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Kelly Ehlers, the founder and CEO of The Evoke Agency. It has been edited for length and clarity.
I’m the founder of a social media agency that brings in millions of dollars a year. I have a team of 45, and we work with incredible brands, from G.E. appliances to Henkel to KraftHeinz. We’ve had a lot of these brands as clients for 15 or 16 years.
Early in my career, I was working an executive corporate job in a male-dominated industry. I had to hide that I was pregnant for five months, and when I told them, they fired me.
That was in 2010 during the recession, and it was hard to get employment. I packed up my boxes, and the other executives, all male, were hiding in a conference room. I walked in and said, “I hope this doesn’t happen to your granddaughter or daughter.” And out I went.
This was around the time Facebook launched to the public, and Twitter was new. I was interested in social media and well-networked. I thought I could figure it out as a consultant, so I learned the platforms and started a consulting firm. At the time, there was clearly no budget for it, but I had an in at Procter & Gamble. I did a program for them, and it gave me credibility.
I’ve done things differently over the past 16 years
It’s been a fast-paced growth trajectory for us. We’ve been on the Inc. 500 five times for growth and named a finalist for “Young Entrepreneur of the Year” by Entrepreneur.
There’s the big agency model with many layers that can be disconnected from the client, but that’s not us. Our team is made up of strategists, marketers, and content creators, from our interns to our Director of Creative. I wanted us to become true partners with our brands. Our business is almost 100% global, which means when someone leaves because they got promoted, they take us with them.
We are also good at embracing change. Things change by the hour, and we have incredible agility. We can react to a trend a few hours after it happens and put our clients in the conversation in the moment.
Kindness and compassion are at the heart of what we do
A partner summed it up, saying we are the smart and nice agency — and we get results. I think “nice” goes back to my Midwestern roots. I’ve always had a saying that “The nice girl wins.” I’ve even written a book called “Nice Girls Win: How Kind Women Can Create the Life They Deserve,” which comes out at the end of August.
However, I think “nice” is a bit of a lie. Nice doesn’t mean a pat on the head and a push to the side without a seat at the table. For me, it’s kindness that disarms a room. Mix that with brilliant strategy and data, and it can be a lethal weapon in business.
But it doesn’t mean letting someone walk all over you
I think niceness and kindness mean boundaries, too. Just because I am kind doesn’t mean I don’t expect anything in return. We still have to value our time and boundaries, and as women, we often struggle to say no without a disclaimer. “No, I can’t because…” Just say “no” and let there be some silence.
When you pause and give the soft no — and I don’t mean soft in a passive-aggressive way, but rather, no, it doesn’t work for me — it works. There doesn’t need to be an apology.
I also think imposter syndrome needs to disappear
I spend just as much time with my interns as I do with my senior vice presidents. The only difference is time. They’re 20, and I’ve got many more years under my belt. That doesn’t mean they won’t be me or exceed me in as many years as it takes. People forget that everyone has capability and potential, so why wouldn’t I treat a brilliant, smart, motivated 20-year-old woman well so that she can be the best she can be?
When I was 22, I stood in line at a pop-up at Sephora in Scottsdale. I had my résumé in hand and waited an hour and a half to meet the founder of the beauty brand philosophy. I told her, “I want to work for you.” The next day, she connected me with the team. It didn’t fall into place, but having that gusto is exactly what people need. I think it’s rare today.
Why not shoot your shot? Why not email someone or DM them, or send an audio message? People are human. We all have to put our pants on the same way, even though I might have more years of experience doing it.
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