For many, the most chaotic time of the year isn’t the holidays, it’s back-to-school season. By the time camp ends and the first school bell rings, parents are hanging on by a thread. You might still be in it: that in-between period – when summer’s nearly over but school hasn’t started yet – where kids have declared themselves bored over a dozen times before noon, the constant complaining that the pantry is empty despite yesterday’s grocery run, and you (aka, mom) have watched enough TikToks to know you’re not crazy and alone in the madness. Before you know it, you are gearing up for the dreaded back-to-school scramble. New sneakers. School supplies. Haircuts. Filling out endless forms of paperwork. Reading emails from your kid’s teacher, the school principal, PTA President and, oh yes, sports guidelines. Somehow, you’re expected to remember everything while sprinting through Staples or Target with a shopping list that has no end because every time you look down, new items suddenly appear.
If you’re separated or divorced and trying to co-parent, well that just adds another layer of stress to the mix because suddenly, buying pencils can turn into an intense negotiation. The good news is it doesn’t have to be a battle. Before the backpacks are filled, the lunches are made and your little ones board the bus, parenting and education experts are dishing out their must-dos for staying organized, dividing responsibilities, and avoiding those, “Wait…Weren’t you doing that?” arguments with your ex.
Tip #1: Hi, My name is…
One of the smartest things you can do before the school year begins is introduce yourself to your child’s teacher. Parent Coordinator Lisa Dorman recommends sending an introductory email to your kid’s teacher before the first day of school explaining your family’s situation, including the family’s custody arrangements or any other special considerations. Dorman also suggests “Copying your co-parent on each correspondence so everyone is on the same page. Starting the conversation early,” Dorman adds, “eliminates confusion before something minor becomes a big problem.”
Tip #2: Make technology part of your co-parenting team
If one parent isn’t getting school updates, someone is bound to miss something important, which can create a dilemma and let’s be honest, who needs that? Steven Anderson, Senior Director of Educational Value at PowerSchool and a former middle school teacher, recommends calling the school’s front office before classes begin to find out how both parents can get access to the school’s communication tools, such as a parent portal, district website, or school app. Anderson adds, “The more schools can consolidate communications with all permitted family members, the less likely important messages will fall through the cracks.”
Tip #3: The designated driver
Nothing creates a last-minute panic attack like realizing nobody confirmed who’s picking up the kids or taking them to dance class and now you are forced to step out of an important work meeting to text everyone you know if they have room to drive your children. Heather Ruiz of the co-parenting app TalkingParents says the key is assigning responsibilities well before the school year begins. “As a single mom myself,” Ruiz says, “I map out a transportation schedule that includes who handles pickup on which days and the times the kids are dismissed.” Another important detail some people overlook is having a backup plan in case of an emergency. Let’s say you’re running late or your kid is being sent home because they don’t feel well and you and your ex are at the office. Ruiz suggests, “Make sure you and your ex agree on an approved emergency contact such as a local family member or neighbor and then, share their information with the school and tell your children.”
Tip #4: Divide and conquer
The endless school supply list has the ability and the power to strike fear into many parents and make their head spin. Think about it. Notebooks, binders, folders, papers, pencils, pens, magic markers, calculators, headphones, Chromebooks, sports gear, clothes, shoes, backpacks, lunchboxes, haircuts, jackets … and on and on.The costs add up fast and in today’s economy those prices are even higher than last year. According to Nerd Wallet, while school supply costs are up 20% more in 2026 than in 2025, 25% of those surveyed said they’re cutting back on their spending due to higher living costs and purchasing items on sale. When it comes to the conversation of who is buying what with your ex, Dorman says, “One way to divide the expenses fairly is to have your mediator or lawyer draw up an itemized list of what each side will be responsible for.” If you have a more cooperative co-parenting relationship, Dorman suggests creating a shared spreadsheet or checklist of everything your children need and coming up with a reasonable budget. The more details you include, the less room for error and a potential argument.
Tip #5: Grab and pen, paper or tablet
Every new school year comes with a mountain of forms. Emergency contacts. Medical records. Permission slips. Technology agreements. Updated physicals for the nurse’s office. It’s enough to make any parent want to pull their hair out of their head. One of the easiest ways to avoid missed deadlines and unnecessary arguments is to designate upfront who will handle the paperwork. For instance, if Parent #1 is more organized or better at keeping track of records, let that person take the lead. The other parent can review, sign, or upload documents if an extra hand is needed. Planning ahead can save you both from getting roped into the blame game.
Tip #6: Shared calendar
You know the old saying that sharing is caring? When it comes to staying organized, it often comes down to one thing: staying on the same page by having the same information. Ruiz recommends using a shared calendar to keep both parents informed about everything on your kid’s agenda. Ruiz says, “The Shared Calendar feature [on TalkingParents] can be updated by the approved users and when both sides take a few minutes to add custody schedules, transition days, parent-teacher conferences, the holiday choir show, game schedules, doctor appointments, tutoring sessions, your child’s project deadlines and more, things will run smoothly because everything lives in one shared space you both have access to.”
Tip #7: Mastering the daily carpool
If you and your ex are involved in the Monday through Friday neighborhood carpool, create a shared, color-coded calendar that shows exactly who is responsible for driving each day. A quick glance can eliminate confusion and help everyone stay on track. To make things even easier, include the pickup and drop-off order, each child’s home address, and the parents’ cell phone numbers. Having all this information in a central place keeps everything running smoothly.
Tip #8: Extra, extra
Let’s be honest, kids forget things. One day it’s a homework assignment, the next it’s a lunchbox, or the library book that’s suddenly due. For children whose parents are divorced or separated, juggling life between two homes can make forgotten items even more common. But having a system in place can prevent mass hysteria. Keep duplicate essentials at both homes. For items that can’t be replaced, such as textbooks, musical instruments, or sports uniforms, map out a game plan out how forgotten items will be exchanged so your child isn’t caught in the middle. For example, if the kids are with Parent #2, Parent #1 will give the item to a classmate to bring to school or drive to the residence of Parent #2 for a quick handoff. The goal isn’t about perfection it’s about preparation, reducing stress and avoiding unnecessary conflict.
Tip #9: The first day send off
The first day of school is a milestone filled with excitement, nerves, and taking way too many photos while maybe holding a homemade sign that marks the occasion. If the first day falls on the allocated visitation time of Parent #1, mediator Anthony Diaz better known as “The Peacemaker” says, “you should consider extending an olive branch by sending an invitation via text, email or message one month before the start of school to your co-parent and ask if they would like to stop by to take some snapshots.” While those shared moments can feel awkward for newly divorced parents, Diaz encourages parents to keep the bigger picture in mind. The whole send-off probably lasts ten minutes and it can go a long way with your kids. “When children see Mom and Dad getting along, they not only do better in school, but they also learn what a healthy relationship looks like and that becomes the foundation for how they build bonds with the people around them.”
Tip #10: Give yourself the credit you deserve
Take a moment to pat yourself on the back. Motherhood in all its forms doesn’t come with a play-by-play handbook. You’re juggling a million things while helping your children adjust to life after divorce. That deserves recognition and an A+.
