Garden fairies here!
We are garden fairies and and we have decided to give Carol her annual performance review now instead of waiting until fall because, honestly, she needs some straight talk tout-suite or this gardening season is not going to be up to our garden fairy standards!
We honestly believe we don’t have that high of standards, nor that Carol is a complete and utter failure, but there are some things she could work on now that will make a big difference during the growing season.
Let us begin.
But first, we would like to say that we approve of all the different herbs Carol recently purchased. Rumor has it that she didn’t need all of them, but wanted to support some young growers so she bought a bunch.
We are garden fairies, and we approve of that purchase.
However, Granny ‘Gus’ McGarden said that she cannot take on more in the Vegetable Garden Cathedral so we have hired two new garden fairies who will be strictly in charge of herbs throughout the garden. We are pleased to introduce Basil the Brazen and Thyme the Timid to our dear readers and admirers. We expect great things from them.
Right now, Thyme is telling Basil not to get too anxious about planting stuff in the ground because it is still quite chilly out in the garden. So far, Basil is listening, but for how long, we do not know. Thyme—haha, we meant “time”—will tell!
In other news, we are also pleased that Carol has purchased more perennials for the pink garden. When they saw them, Hortense and Honoria said in unison, “Oh no, more plants to tend in their pots while we wait for Carol to plant them.” But to everyone’s delight and surprise, Carol planted them straight away, and then the very next morning, she planted out the hosta and crested iris that had languished on the patio for a few days.
Hortense and Honoria were pleased but would like Carol to buy more plants for them to tend to as they get bored easily. No one wants garden fairies to be bored! A bored garden fairy, well, let’s just say that you don’t want such a fairy in your garden.
Anyway, we are garden fairies, and we cannot complain about the speed and swiftness of Carol planting new plants this spring.
But Soddy and Seedy did want to point out that Carol mowed the lawn when the grass was still damp from dew this morning, and that is not the best thing for the lawn. They are going to go on an inspection tour to make sure she didn’t make any sharp turns and leave wheel ruts all over, but honestly, she is usually so careful and diligent about mowing that we have decided not to mark her down for this one infraction.
We are garden fairies, we are kind like that!
What other faults can we find with Carol’s performance this spring? So many. So many. But we are garden fairies and have decided not to air all of our grievances here on the Internet as that is not our style.
Instead, when we are displeased with Carol, we will simply, and temporarily, hide one of her gardening tools. So if per chance she writes about missing tools, you will know, dear readers, that we are displeased. Hopefully, that will not be too often because we are garden fairies. We expect superior performance from all gardeners.
And now, it is spring, we are busy, so that is enough for this post. Go forth and garden!
Submitted by:
Violet GreenPea MayDreams, Chief Scribe and Head of HR at May Dreams Gardens
P. S. We forgot to mention that one of Carol’s faults is she will not memorize the variety names of many of the plants in the garden. For example, she doesn’t know all the variety names of the hostas. Oh sure, she knows which one is the ‘Empress Wu’ because it is big, and which one is ‘Praying Hands’ because of the narrow leaves. Then there is ‘Blue Whale,’ also big and kind of bluish, and ‘Mouse Ears’ which is smaller, but then she starts to not remember or even care what the names of them are! Honestly, she is pathetic about keeping track of variety names. But we are garden fairies. We do not like the alternative of little plant tags sticking up all over the garden reminding Carol of all the variety names. In other words, we can accept this fault for now. We are garden fairies!
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