After 13 years of motherhood, I took my first girls’ trip. I’m so glad I didn’t talk myself out of it.

• It would have been easy to say no when my friend invited me to join her on a trip to St. Croix.
• It was just before the start of the school year, and I had a ton of things on my to-do list.
• For the first time in 13 years, I went on a trip without my kids. It was just what I needed.

This summer, my best friend said she was planning to celebrate her mom’s birthday by taking a trip to St. Croix. She asked if I wanted to join them, but I paused.

At first, I was unsure. A tropical trip just for us girls did sound great, but it would mean returning a week before school started for my two kids. Looking at my to-do list, it would’ve been easy to say no, but something in me told me not to miss out on this chance to go to paradise.

So I agreed to my first girls’ trip since becoming a mom, 13 years ago.

I had to act fast

I was prepping for back-to-school shopping, and money felt kinda tight. I bought an airline ticket immediately after talking to my friend. I knew if I hesitated, I would end up wimping out.

Timing was on my side. The dates lined up so that my kids would be having fun in Cancun and Cozumel with my ex, while I would be spending four incredible days on a Caribbean island.

When I became a mom, I put any dreams of beachy trips out of mind. I had no desire to be that far away from my kids. My life was all about mothering, and it felt strange to imagine sitting under a palm tree on a gorgeous beach so far away from them

Only I really wanted to do just that, especially as my kids got older. I knew all the giving involved with parenting can lead some mothers to miss out on making other memories. I had to just go for it.

Later, while packing, I kept telling myself, the kids will be okay, they can handle me taking a trip, and so can I.

Saying yes to the trip has inspired me to not miss out on other things

By early August, I was on the beach sipping a piña colada, with ocean-blue views that went on and on.

“I can’t believe this is real,” I kept saying while my friend and I lounged on the shore, enjoyed great food and drinks, rode jet skis, shopped in town, and documented it all with selfies.

Since returning home, I’ve been working hard to remember how peaceful I felt stepping off the tour boat and onto Buck Island, only accessible by boat, among protected coral reefs and white-sand beaches. It a great reminder that I can enjoy things too, just for me.

For a little while, I was on Island-time, and all that mattered was admiring beauty and savoring the moment with my dear friend and her mom. The trip made me realize that this beautiful place had been there all along, waiting for me to experience it. Now I wonder what else is out there for me to discover.

This unexpected trip gave me permission to believe I can be both a deeply caring mom and also say yes to myself, too.