Discovering that a colleague with the same job title is earning more than you is never fun, though it is quite common.
According to a global survey of 1,850 workers by résumé building platform Kickresume, 56% have discovered that someone with the same job at their company is earning more than them, and another 24% have their suspicions.
“People are much less willing to discuss their salaries than we thought they would be—there’s still quite a stigma around it,” says Kickresume’s head of content Martin Poduska, who helped conduct the study. “The weirdest thing is that we didn’t identify a good reason for it.”
Poduska explains that compensation is far from a precise science, and that keeping the topic taboo only works to the benefit of the employer. “The secrecy that surrounds it prevents organizations from coming up with more effective or more transparent ways of rewarding people,” he says.
In recent years, there have been efforts to mandate wage transparency in certain cities and states. For example, California, Washington, New York, Maryland, Colorado, and Rhode Island have had pay transparency laws on the books for years, and a handful more—including Illinois, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Jersey, and Vermont—added them this year.
Calls for more robust pay transparency have even gone viral on TikTok, and the Kickresume survey suggests Gen Zers and millennials are much more willing to talk about their compensation than Gen Xers and boomers.
With more people sharing salary information, the research suggests many won’t be happy with what they learn. Here’s what to do when you discover a colleague is making more for the same job.
Don’t assume the worst
Not everyone who found out that a colleague with the same job title was outearning them took issue with it. In the Kickresume survey, about 40% didn’t really care what others were making, though the rest did. That includes 45% of women compared to just 33% of men, which may not be surprising given the gender wage gap.
But that could be because there are a lot of reasons why two people with the same title may get paid differently—and that any pay discrepancies could be unintended, or simply reflect nuances in talent and market trends.
These reasons could range from résumé points, like education and experience, to differences in their responsibilities, even if they share a job title. Plus, those who are hired in a more competitive talent market also typically have more bargaining power than those who are hired in slower economic periods.
“I think that people assume that companies have it all figured out in terms of jobs and titles and career paths, but it’s really not that neat and clean,” says career coach Caroline Ceniza-Levine. “Even if a company doesn’t do it deliberately, there’s so many opportunities for inequities to develop in compensation, and no one’s going to advocate for your salary more than you will. So you might as well pay attention.”
Take a breath, and do your homework
Discovering that someone with the same job title is earning more can provoke a lot of emotions, but a heated confrontation is unlikely to resolve the issue.
“You don’t want to react the moment you find out,” says Andres Lares, managing partner at Shapiro Negotiations Institute, which offers negotiation consulting and training services. “You want to take some time to digest it, and that also gives you time to find some objective information.”
Lares explains that those emotions are best channelled into research about market rates for your role.
“That prepares you to have these conversations from a place of knowledge,” he says. “The more you do that, the less reactionary and emotional you are, and the more objective you are when you approach [your manager].”
Approach with caution
While there are wrong moments to confront your manager—like immediately after finding out someone is earning more—there may never be a right time.
“It can be very easy to stall forever waiting for the right time, and the right time will really never happen,” says Lares. “There’s always going to be excuses not to do it.”
If you want to talk to your boss about your compensation as it compares to your colleagues, Lares suggests scheduling an in-person appointment or bringing it up during a regularly scheduled one-on-one.
Ask questions
Rather than opening the conversation with accusations and demands, Lares recommends starting with questions.
“Sit down with your boss and ask about pay structures. ‘How does it work?’ ‘How do you come up with the pay structures for each person on your team?’ ‘How do I compare in my compensation with others in the role?’ ‘Where does my performance land compared to my colleagues?’ ‘What would set me up best to increase my compensation?” he says.
“Not only are you getting valuable information and seeing a more complete picture, but they can see that you’re approaching this with empathy.”
Test the market, carefully
The most direct way to understand what you’re worth is to test the market yourself.
Even if you’re not ready to jump ship, Vivian Garcia-Tunon, founder of executive coaching, leadership development, talent strategy, and advisory services provider VGT People Advisory, says sending out a few applications may be useful, as long as your negotiation doesn’t become an ultimatum.
“Probably eight out of 10 people will go test the market and see if they can get a job offer and then have the conversation with their manager,” she says. “It’s a strategy that brings the individual more confidence. But there’s a risk associated with it, which is that if you use it as a negotiation strategy, you have to be willing to walk.”
That other offer, in other words, may be a card you want in your back pocket heading into the negotiations, but not necessarily one you want to play.
“If you’re seriously considering leaving, you can put that offer on the table,” Garcia-Tunon says. “If you’re trying to use it to get an increase, you can position it in the conversation as another piece of information.”
Be patient
Just because you’re walking into your boss’s office to talk about a raise doesn’t mean you’re going to walk out with a higher salary.
Those decisions rarely happen on the spot, and may require conversations with other stakeholders, like human resources, accounting and leadership teams.
“Sometimes your manager agrees with you, but they then have to go higher up,” says Ceniza-Levine. “One thing that I’ve actually seen with a lot of people is that they have this initial conversation with their manager, the manager promises them something, and then nothing happens.”
Ceniza-Levine explains that your salary will never be as pressing to anyone else, and whether intentionally or not, it can take a long time for managers to follow up.
“Be prepared to have multiple conversations, check in on what is happening, and leave a paper trail,” she says. “Send an email saying, ‘thank you so much for meeting with me, as discussed you’re going to talk to senior leader X about a merit raise for me, and then we can schedule another meeting.’”
