Whether you need a massive, dad-coded vault or a chair with a built-in beer stash (because getting up sounds hard), these coolers will rule your warm-weather kickbacks
Whether you’re packing up frankfurters for a weekend in the woods or rolling up to a pool party with brewskies to share, you’re going to need some portable cold storage, aka a cooler. These days, there is a cooler for every conceivable Enneagram; the folks at Igloo have gone full Oreo, launching a bunch of vibey retro coolers in previously unseen hues and some extremely niche branded coolers, while luxury brands like Business & Pleasure have engineered an archetypal Talented Mr. Ripley-esque, sea-ready ice chest, and the same people who gave us the Ninja Swirl crafted one of the most expedition-worthy coolers the back of your SUV has ever seen. Here’s what the coolest coolers out there tell the world about the people who tote them.
“My Other Car is a Ninja Cooler”: The Ninja FrostVault
With its sturdy, sand-ready wheels and cavernous interior, the Ninja FrostVault is like an ATV for your many beach snacks. This massive, dad-coded cooler keeps cold cuts perfectly chilled for literal days, perfect for camping trips and other expeditions, and it includes a chilled dry zone that keeps dry stuff fridge-cold and never soggy for all your Type A packing needs.
“I Came to Party”: The Igloo Retro Fanny Pack
You can’t be bothered with a bunch of details. (That’s for the Ninja FrostVault crowd.) You may be here for a short time, but you’re definitely here for a good time, which is why you’ve tucked exactly three cans of Ranch Water hard seltzer and an airplane bottle of tequila in your temperature-controlled Retro Fanny Pack before donning a bucket hat and hitting the streets.
“I’m Studying for My Level 2 Somm Exam”: A Wine-Optimized Cooler Bag
Only you, a wine rep who likes to crush grapes in quaint villages on your off time, can truly know the best bottle for every occasion. It’s a gift and a burden, but fortunately, Monti’s soft quilted Mayfly cooler backpack can house three of your favorites.
Need room for some Mimolette and tarali? Check out the Corkcicle Beverage Bucket Bag with a pocket for just about everything.
“I Leisure So Hard, Weekend Is a Verb”: Business & Pleasure’s Hemingway Cooler Bench
This is the kind of conspicuous cooler that telegraphs, “I own a boat,” and not just because the design was, according to Business & Pleasure, “inspired by European car designs and luxury speed boats,” though that helps. After snagging a can of Nomadica Bubbly Rosé from its roomy 35-quart interior, you can sit back on this cooler’s detachable cushion and marvel at its sumptuous teak lid, glossy finish, and snazzy gold handles as you sail off into the sunset.
“I Would Prefer Not to Get Up”: ParkIt’s Voyager Cooler
If you’ve ever gone thirsty because you refuse to dislodge yourself from your lawn chair while basting in your own sweat on a languid summer afternoon, I’ve got good news: This brilliant folding outdoor chair from ParkIt has a cooler built right in, so your *getting up and walking over there* days are over. Take the chair/cooler to any music festival or outdoor gathering, and you are guaranteed to make new friends whether you want them or not.
“I Once Caught a Fish THIS BIG”: Canyon’s Pro 45-Quart Cooler
You often find yourself in bear country, and thus, you need a cooler that is not only bear-proof but also comes with a lifetime warranty just in case a grizzly tries any funny stuff. The PRO 45 Quart Canyon Cooler was built to hold a weekend’s worth of food and drink for two (or an overnight’s worth of stuff for four, or 15 minute’s worth of food for a bear), and since it was designed for enjoying in the great outdoors where gadget multitasking is mandatory, the included cooler divider also doubles as a food-safe surface.
“I Look Great in Jorts”: The Igloo KoolTunes
Long before iTunes, there was KoolTunes. Imagine it: Billy Joel’s 1989 classic “We Didn’t Start the Fire” absolutely blasting out of an Igloo Playmate cooler while you dole out Bud heavies to your Breakfast Club-looking crew of friends. Though they discontinued the original version in 1990, Igloo read the room and brought the KoolTunes back a few years ago, reestablishing it as the summer essential it truly is (and now it pairs with Bluetooth). And while we’re on the topic of Igloo’s fanny pack coolers, I would be doing you a disservice if I failed to mention that the brand has also designed one to look like a WWE Championship Belt for you to fill with… Slim Jims???
Stay cool, kids.
