Most people will tell you that the six-week postpartum appointment is mostly to get the “all clear” to have sex again with your partner, if you feel so inclined. And while six weeks seems to have been deemed the “normal” waiting period after having a baby, is that really the case for all women? One mom is wondering when other moms had sex for the first time postpartum, asking for advice on how long to wait.
“Hi moms! I (29F) just had my first baby girl two weeks ago with my husband (30M), and god, we are so in love with her. 🩷 She’s happy, healthy, and everything we could’ve hoped for. I had a vaginal birth at 36 weeks with just a bit of tearing, nothing too major, thankfully, and recovery has been going pretty well so far,” she prefaces in her post on the Mommit subreddit.
She notes that she’s missing “intimacy” with her husband, noting the last time they had sex was when she was 32 weeks pregnant.
“…it’s been a while. I know I still need to wait a few more weeks before we can safely be intimate again, but I’m curious what it was like for you all. How long after your first birth did you have sex again? Was it uncomfortable or painful at first? Did it take a while before things started feeling “normal” again? Just trying to prepare myself mentally. Thanks in advance!💕”
The most upvoted comment said, “At least 6 weeks. You have a wound the size of a dinner plate inside your uterus. Even if you feel good on the outside, the inside needs to heal.”
And they’re not wrong!
According to Infirmary Health, the placenta is roughly the size of a dinner plate. Immediately after delivery, there is a wound where the placenta was attached, and this wound needs to heal. That area shrinks and heals as the uterus contracts and returns to its pre-pregnancy size. For that reason, women who have just delivered a baby are at a higher risk of infection.
This is why most healthcare providers advise the six-week waiting period, but is that really enough time? This was reflected in the OP’s comment section on her Reddit post.
“8 weeks for me but honestly I didn’t really have a sex drive again until I stopped breastfeeding,” one user wrote.
“I wasn’t interested for like 10 months after!” another admitted.
“10 months and still haven’t! Maybe soon, I’m finally feeling ‘myself’ again,” another echoed.
One user wrote, “2 years…for a multitude of breastfeeding, difficult sleeper and work/life reasons…”
As for how postpartum sex felt for the woman, some users warned that it can be a bit uncomfortable.
“We waited like 3 months and reallllllly took it slow the first time. I was SCARED. There was a lot of pressure and everything felt weird until it didn’t 😅” one mom said.
“We waited until after I got the clear from my OBGYN at 7wpp. Honestly, it felt like losing my virginity again. 🫠” another admitted.
Long story short, the date and time of when it’s “normal” to have sex again after giving birth should vary based on your individual labor experience and, of course, your mental and emotional desire to have sex.
Read the entire Reddit thread here.
