I’m a person who, as I’d imagine most of you reading this are, has loved Mae Whitman in everything she’s ever done — from little Bernice Pruitt in Hope Floats and Ann Veal in Arrested Development to Amber Holt in Parenthood and Annie Marks in Good Girls. She’s built a career on characters who feel deeply human, and her latest role is a (very merry) welcome addition to that lineup.
Hallmark’s Twelve Dates ‘Til Christmas sees Whitman as Kate, a textile designer whose friends nudge her into a festive dating experiment. In the six-episode series adapted from Jenni Bayliss’ beloved novel, Whitman’s Kate comes to realize that the real journey is less about finding “the one” and more about unraveling the things tangling her growth.
For Whitman, the role arrived during a profound personal transition: She filmed in Ireland mere months after giving birth to her son, Miles, surrounded by a community that helped her navigate the inherent weirdness and vulnerability of new motherhood. The result is a holiday series that delivers all the cozy romance you could hope for — snow-dusted cottages, twinkling lights, classic meet-cutes — coupled with real love that you can feel in every scene.
We caught up with Whitman to chat about the emotional heart of Kate’s journey, filming abroad with a newborn, and the chosen family that continues to shape her life and work.
Scary Mommy: This series has such a cozy, classic holiday-romcom feel, but with a deeper self-discovery arc. What felt new or different about navigating Kate’s journey?
Mae Whitman: That was a big part of it for me that I loved so much is it’s not your classic like, “Oh, I’m lonely at the holidays, and things would just be so complete if somebody would come rescue me.” Again, there’s a time and a place for that, love that.
But to me, it’s so much more interesting to have this moment of being like, “Kate is fine.” She’s not unhappy in her life. But I think really she’s at that point, one of those points that’s happened to all of us, where it’s a chance to reevaluate and a chance to grow. You make the choice: Do I want to stop and turn and face myself and go, “Is there anything here that I’m holding onto that’s holding me back that I don’t need?”
It’s scary to do that because you have to unravel some stuff … It’s really easy to just continue playing it safe and not want to get hurt and not really want to open yourself up to that vulnerability. I was proud of her as a character. I was proud of this story and the storytelling, which really ends up becoming much more about her facing her defense mechanisms and the protections she built up as a child, and letting herself release the things that aren’t actually serving her anymore.
So it’s like, “Yes, there’s romance. Yes, it’s cozy. Yes, that’s great.” But it’s really so much more about her growing as a person and dealing with her family drama and becoming a more honest and authentic version of herself. I love a story like that.
SM: What do you think makes a holiday love story hit differently than a regular rom-com?
MW: That’s a very good question. I feel like there’s just something about being cozy. Then you mix in the fact that you’re in Ireland or England. And you’ve got these incredible vistas and gardens and the cozy cottages and all the old stone and you’re eating pastries. I mean, come on. There really is something about it.
Even I have to admit it, as someone who was not a big Christmas person, it is obviously incredibly gorgeous in the snow and you’re wearing big jackets. I mean, what could possibly be better? But I think when you mix in any form of the countryside and a fireplace, that’s it. You’re toast.
SM: You have such strong chemistry with this ensemble. Was there a moment on set when it struck you, like, “OK, this cast is magic”?
MW: I’ve known Mary McDonnell, who plays my mom, since I was 5 years old. She played my mom in Independence Day. So that was this really fun connection because we were like, “Oh, my God, we get to play mom and daughter again after all these millions of years,” which felt really special. And I adore her as a person. She brings such depth and complexity to that character of Delilah.
And I love Jane [Seymour, “Evelyn”]. Jane’s like the queen of Ireland. She knows everyone there, and she would have dinner parties and lunches and all of that.
Julian [Morris, “Callum”] is such a dear, dear man. He’s so kind. I’ve truly almost never met anyone so positive. It’s like you could be having the worst day, and Julian would just brighten you up in five seconds.
There was not a single person who wanted anything other than the absolute best for you. On top of that, the crew was so talented at their jobs. They worked efficiently enough that we had room and space and time in our day for play and silliness. We would play pranks on each other, and we had themed Fridays where we’d all dress up and have dance parties.
And Irish people care so much about your quality of life, about family, about you as a person.
It was like my dream come true because, to me, what really pushes a project over the edge of being really good, even just on screen, is when the crew loves each other and it’s a really good working environment. I feel like you can really feel that. And we had that tenfold in Ireland.
SM: Being a new mom is such a weird time. Amazing, but so weird —
MW: So weird.
SM: It feels like that environment and the people you were around really made the experience so singular for you, which is beautiful.
MW: Being a new mom and then going back to work, it’s so difficult. Because you’re just in this cocoon of walking around topless, not sleeping, with your baby, and there’s barf on you. And you haven’t seen people, and you’re like, “I don’t know how to speak English anymore.”
You’re just so vulnerable and fragile … your brain is so foggy. And it was frightening for me. I mean, I was genuinely afraid because it was only a couple months after I’d had my son, and I was like, On a good day, it’s hard to do this. I don’t know how I’m going to do it with none of my usual faculties here.
It was especially hard because my partner was working in the States at the same time, so he couldn’t come. So it was just me and my kid at four months old, and I’d never had a kid before, moving to a new country to do this thing.
SM: That sounds really intimidating!
I was so terrified. It’s really a testament to the people of Ireland and the people of this project that I came from a place of such vulnerable, stripped-down rawness, and I feel like I emerged so whole and so held and supported and loved and seen and taken care of. I felt stronger than ever.
And it just gave me, of course, even more such respect and amazement for moms and all that’s expected of us. All the things we have to wrangle, just even mentally and emotionally, and things that people just expect us to do and be able to do. I tend to be sort of hard on myself and be like, “Ah, you’re not doing enough.”
I feel like this was one of the few times in my life when … I would get home after working all day, and then it would be bedtime, so I’d make his food, feed him, give him a bath, do the whole nighttime routine, get the jammies, get him down to bed. And afterwards, I would be like, Wow, I’m pretty amazing. This is hard, and I’m proud of myself that I’m doing this. This is something that I’m going to take a minute and let myself have a little win here because this is tough, and I’m doing it.
SM: You’ve been in this industry for nearly four decades — which is wild to say when you’re not even 40. When you think about young Mae on sets like Friends and One Fine Day… did you ever in your wildest dreams imagine you’d still be here and doing these incredible, cool things?
MW: No, I mean, I am still to this day, every time I get a job, I’m like, “Whoa, what? Me? Really? That’s insane. How cool.” I’ve always, since day one, felt a little like, all right, when’s somebody going to come along and say, “OK, you can’t just have a good time every day the rest of your life while working. That’s enough. You got time to actually do a real job now.”
But I think when you have people around you who understand and are so grounded and grounding, it makes a world of difference. So I’m just so grateful every day that I’ve been able to continue doing this with people who are so amazing.
SM: Speaking of incredible connections, fans love that your Parenthood family is still so close. What are some qualities from Lauren Graham and Miles Heizer that you hope Miles picks up from having their presence in his life?
MW: Oh, man … no list could ever be long enough to describe. It’s funny, we’re so close that we forget that we were even on a TV show together. We’re like, “Oh, yeah, remember? That’s how we met. That’s so crazy.” Because it’s just we’ve lived so much life.
I don’t have very many friends. I have a small, small group, so the people I’m close to, I’m really close to … But I think the two of them, it’s almost embarrassing how deeply I feel for them.
Lauren is someone who feels like having the red phone in the president’s office, but for good advice. I feel so guilty almost that I have this direct line to golden advice and the uppermost echelon of existence in her. That I can just text her. During the pandemic, she would bring me groceries, and we’d be like, “Celebrity Postmates, haha.” Because this woman — who’s this incredible, talented, beautiful superstar — is bringing me sweet potatoes. And I’m calling her from the dentist, being like, “I don’t know what to do because my tooth hurts.” Things that are just so absurd, but it’s, like, she’s real family to me.
And I mean, Miles, it’s a joke: Miles is truly the third parent to my child. We basically spend every day together. He’s kind of the true existential reason why I believe in anything. Why I’m not fully an atheist. I’m like, “If I love someone as much as I love you, there has to be something kind of spiritual going on here.” It’s just so much bigger than everything else. He’s the reason I don’t feel deeply, existentially alone in my life.
It makes me feel so lucky because I have this group of people around me who come and spend time with my child. I feel like, and of course I’m biased, it already shows. My kid, he’s so happy, and he’s funny, and he’s inquisitive, and he’s sensitive, and he’s a good listener, and he’s kind. He’s already all the things that I value in all the people I love.
The idea that he’s going to have all those qualities be nurtured by who I consider to be the top human beings on the planet is, like, I basically couldn’t have asked for anything else in my life. I feel like that’s really what matters to me most in the world. And the fact that I have it … I can’t even believe it. I don’t know who I gave a good impression to somewhere in my past lives, but I’m deeply appreciative.
SM: Last question, and it’s kind of a personal favor: Can we please get more Good Girls? Do we need to file a petition? How can we make this happen?
MW: If you figure it out, let me know … To me, that show could have gone on forever. We were so happy. That was another dream job. We would look around with each other and be like, “I can’t believe we get to do this every day together.”
Me and the girls are on a text thread — we text every day. I actually just took my baby to see Christina in New York, and we had the time of our lives. We’re still super close, so at least there’s that. But they did us dirty, and I wish we could have had more time to tell those stories because I promise you we would’ve done that forever.
It means a lot to me that people really like it. It’s one thing for you to love making something, but it’s another thing for people to be like, “We wish there was more of that.” It’s slightly vindicating. So yeah, if you find an address or something I can write a letter to, I’ll make up a fake name and pretend it’s not from me.
Twelve Dates ‘Til Christmas premieres Friday, Dec. 5, at 8 p.m. ET on Hallmark, with new episodes airing weekly through the Dec. 19 series finale.
This interview has been edited lightly for length and clarity.
