Although there are now 55 female CEOs among the top 500 U.S. companies, female representation is still only 11%.
A recent McKinsey & Co. article, The Inner Game of Women CEOs, explores how women who reach the top navigate the mental, emotional, and relational polarities of leadership. How do they maintain confidence and humility while asserting their bold vision and operational grit without self-erasure?
Women often lead differently because they have to. Their leadership isn’t just a matter of style or preference—it’s survival. And that reality doesn’t just shape how women show up as CEOs; it reshapes how they communicate, both internally and externally.
Female leaders face a double bind
Female leaders are consistently caught in what sociologists call the “double bind.” They are penalized for being too assertive while also dismissed for not being assertive enough. According to McKinsey, women are more than twice as likely as men to be described as “overly ambitious,” even as they are equally as likely to be described as lacking ambition. Similarly, a Textio report on job feedback shows women receive 22% more feedback on their personality than men and 30% more exaggerated feedback than men. The gap is even greater for BIPOC women.
For a female CEO, communication is not just a leadership tool; it’s a tightrope to walk. Every sentence, keynote, or town hall must project vision and conviction, but not aggression; authenticity, but not overexposure; strength, but not dominance. Sound familiar? Revisit America Ferrera’s epic monologue in the Barbie movie.
It’s a balancing act few men are forced to consider, much less master.
Visibility versus relatability
In high-stakes leadership, communication isn’t about charisma; it’s about trust. Women CEOs often default to a relational, purpose-driven approach in their messaging, using “we” more than “I,” contextualizing decisions with values, and inviting dialogue over top-down decree. This isn’t weakness. It’s often a strategic choice to preempt bias and build credibility.
But there’s a risk. A too-collaborative tone can undercut authority in the eyes of boards or investors still primed for the Hero Archetype. On the other hand, an assertive female executive can be misinterpreted as cold or arrogant.
This paradox means women CEOs must become highly intentional communicators, code-switching not just between audiences, but between their identities.
Culture setting through language
The best women CEOs use communication not just to lead, but to recalibrate expectations of what leadership looks and feels like.
They narrate change. They humanize decisions. They model curiosity as a strength. And often, they do the extra work of “translating” their leadership moves, explaining not just what decisions they made, but why. This transparency builds alignment and trust but also requires time and emotional labor that their male peers are rarely asked to invest.
Internally, this may require women CEOs to spend time:
- Holding stakeholder briefings that address business outcomes and cultural implications.
- Articulating a clear vision with space for feedback and co-creation.
- Saying “I don’t have all the answers,” not as a sign of weakness, but as an indication of leadership maturity.
Male CEOs are rarely expected to take these extra steps.
Redefining the CEO voice
Platforms like LinkedIn, Substack, and executive podcasts create room for women CEOs to tell their own stories on their own terms. This is crucial. While many still face biased gatekeeping in traditional media, digital platforms offer more nuance, depth, and control.
We see the most effective women leaders using communications to:
- Elevate purpose over personal brand.
- Lean into values without becoming tokenized.
- Speak candidly about failure, ambiguity, or systemic change.
Done right, this kind of external communication doesn’t just enhance reputation; it redefines what executive presence looks like in the public arena.
The Takeaway
The leadership playbook is different for women than men because the expectations and penalties are different. The best women CEOs have developed an “inner game” of resilience, clarity, and purpose, not because they wanted to, but because they had to.
What the McKinsey article illuminates, and what we must continue to say out loud, is this: Women are not thriving despite their different approach, they’re thriving because of it. And how they communicate—as translators, narrators, and meaning-makers—is central to their success.
As more women take the helm, let’s not ask them to conform to outdated norms. Let’s rewrite the norms, starting with how we define strong leadership and how we choose to talk about it.
Tyler Perry is co-CEO of Mission North.
