A mom is wondering if she’s in the wrong after refusing to attend her sister-in-law’s child-free, destination wedding. After making no accommodations for her nephew, the bride is now “furious” with her sister-in-law for missing out on her big day.
The original poster (OP) begins by explaining the timeline of these events, noting that her sister-in-law (SIL) got engaged a few months after she announced she was pregnant. After the child was born, her SIL set the wedding date for the same day as her kid’s first birthday.
“I’ve been super involved in helping her plan the wedding, we’re close in age, good friends, and she’s doing a destination wedding on a tiny island in the Pacific. Because the island is so small, the plan has always been that me, my partner, our child, his siblings and their partners would stay a few days on the island for the wedding, then all head to Fiji afterwards to have a family holiday trip,” she explained.
The OP thought everything was going perfectly until she saw that the official wedding invites had a strict “adults-only” rule.
“No kids allowed, including our son,” she wrote.
She wasn’t super offended by the rule and came to terms quickly with the fact that if the wedding had no children in attendance, she would also be absent from the guest list.
“…her wedding, her rules, but since there is zero childcare on this island and we absolutely are not going to leave our child alone in our home country, we told her we are unable to come because of this rule,” she said.
Now, the bride is furious because while they won’t be at the wedding, they will still be going to the family holiday trip in Fiji post-wedding.
“…she’s creating a fuss and saying we ‘must’ find someone to watch him so we can still attend. She doesn’t seem to understand that there’s literally no childcare on this random island, and even if there was, we wouldn’t leave him for his first birthday,” she said.
“She thinks we’re being dramatic. We think it’s simple: if kids aren’t invited, we respect that and we make other plans. Especially since we’d already planned Fiji to be our son’s birthday trip too.”
“So… AITA for not going to the wedding and going to Fiji instead since our child isn’t invited?”
Comments from other Reddit users quickly flowed into the post, agreeing with the OP’s plan to skip the nuptials.
“NTA As someone who had a child free wedding, I was fully prepared and accepting of the fact that some of the people I invited may not choose to attend,” one user wrote.
“No-child wedders put people in a place where they have to choose between the wedding and their kids, and always are surprised pikachu face when people choose their kids and not their ‘incredible one day in a lifetime’ Main character syndrome,” another echoed.
One user wondered where the OP’s partner landed on everything, considering this is his sister.
“NTA this is your partner’s sister what does he say? I’m curious if she’s the golden child?”
“My partner is really upset about it, I asked him if he would like to attend and I can stay home with our son and he said he would never miss any birthdays. Most of the family is finding it hard to miss our son’s first birthday that’s why we have opted to still meet in Fiji after the wedding,” she wrote.
Read the entire Reddit thread here.
