Twins bought homes next door to each other to create a family compound and raise their kids together

• Twins Amelia and Sydney Stoker bought homes next door to each other.
• They each live with their spouse and kids, but the two homes function as a compound.
• They eat dinner together nightly and have a shared family credit card.

Amelia and Sydney Stoker always hoped they could live in the same city when they had kids.

The 39-year-old twins told Business Insider they were envious of their friends who grew up with cousins around. As they pictured their adult lives, they hoped their own children could have the experience they had wanted.

When the sisters were wrapping up their orthodontics residencies in the Bay Area, though, it didn’t feel realistic that they could live in the same city, Sydney said.

Amelia and her husband, Adam Fagin, were looking all over the country for an oral surgeon job for Fagin, while Sydney and her husband, Paden Roder, thought they would return to Portland, Oregon, which felt familiar and more affordable than the Bay Area.

Then, the perfect house changed everything.

Home sweet home

Fagin is from the Bay Area, and after his parents moved down the street, they kept the three-bedroom, two-bathroom house he grew up in. They saved it in case their son settled down in California, renting it out while he was completing his education.

In July 2022, the house next door to Fagin’s family home went on the market, giving the Stokers and their spouses an idea: Sydney and Roder could buy it and raise their kids next to Amelia and Fagin, creating a multigenerational home.

The four-bedroom, two-bathroom house had everything Sydney’s family would need, but she and her husband were a little hesitant. Living in the Bay Area is expensive, and they were apprehensive about how overwhelming it would be to live next door to family.

“My brother-in-law was the one who convinced us,” Sydney said. “He was like, ‘This is just too unique to pass up. Try it, and you can always reevaluate,’ which is a great attitude that he has.”

Plus, a building became available around the same time that the Stoker sisters could buy for their orthodontics practice. It felt like fate.

Sydney and her husband bought the house in the summer of 2022, shortly after they welcomed their first child. They now have a 4-year-old, a 2-year-old, and a newborn. Amelia and her husband also have a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old.

A family compound

Once the Stoker sisters and their spouses were next door to each other, they decided to embrace the benefits of living so close, turning their homes into a compound that could make all their lives easier.

They took down the fence between their backyards, essentially making their lots into one big property. The kids can come and go between each other’s spaces whenever they want.

Both houses also have an accessory dwelling unit, or ADU, in the back. The families hired two au pairs, who live in one ADU, and the Stokers’ mom typically stays in the other when she visits her daughters and grandkids.

Sydney’s mother-in-law has been staying in the ADU in recent months while the couple turns their garage into a permanent home for her. Plus, Amelia’s in-laws live down the street, so there’s family everywhere.

The seven adults who live on the property full time work together to make the compound function. The au pairs watch all five children together, and both families eat dinner together every weeknight. Amelia’s household cooks on Tuesdays, Sydney’s cooks on Thursdays, and Sydney’s mother-in-law, who’s retired and likes to cook, makes meals on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

The families also have a shared credit card that they use for compound-related expenses, such as paper towels and dinner supplies.

“My sister usually is the one who goes to Costco every week, and she’ll just use that compound card,” Sydney said. “We all pay on it together.”

Despite how much time they spend together, everyone still understands where their own home is, Amelia said.

“Everyone knows where their place is, and everyone wants to go home at the end of the night,” she added. “So by about 7:30, everyone’s tucked into their own little spaces.”

The benefits of the compound

Both Amelia and Sydney said living on a compound makes raising their kids easier, particularly since they and their spouses work full-time jobs.

“I can’t imagine trying to do it all by myself,” Sydney said. “Everything is just seamless. I feel like we can have a third kid because of the compound.”

Amelia said she feels like she and her sister have more free time than their friends since there are so many people available at any given moment to help care for their kids.

The sisters added that having more family around is a stark and welcome contrast to their upbringing.

“I love getting to see my nieces grow up,” Sydney said. “I think about that every day, how lucky I am to see them grow up.”

Their husbands are on the same page, with Sydney’s spouse saying he loves how close all the children are becoming because of their living situation.

“I get to watch my nieces grow up alongside my own kids, and they’re all developing these incredibly close relationships that I hope they’ll carry with them for the rest of their lives,” Roder said.

“From a practical standpoint, it also makes raising young kids so much easier,” he added. “There’s almost always another adult nearby to lend a hand, and the kids have built-in playmates right next door. It feels like we’ve created our own little village, which is pretty rare these days.”

Amelia’s husband agreed, saying he loves how many people are around their home at all times.

“As an only child, my upbringing was pretty quiet, so having two households, five kids, and au pairs sharing this space is a beautifully chaotic shift,” Fagin said. “Seeing the kids run around and play together constantly, all day, every day, is just amazing. They have each other — something I never had growing up — and I think they are incredibly lucky.”

“But the funny thing is, this setup gave me something I thought I would never have: siblings,” he added. “You can make a new friend at any stage of life, but you can’t just go out and meet a brother or sister. Sharing our daily lives with my wife’s twin and her husband has finally given me the closest thing to a sibling I’ll ever have.”

Amelia and Sydney don’t know if they’ll keep living on the compound after their kids are out of the house, but for now, they can’t imagine raising their children without being side by side.

“The biggest pro is having that community for our children,” Amelia said. “The more support, the better.”