If you had a job before kids, chances are you had aspirations to go really far with that career — or to potentially find a better, more successful position. Maybe you wanted to be at the top of the corporate ladder or to manage an entire business. Maybe you just knew that the position you were in wasn’t going to be enough, and you’d eventually want more and more. Pay raises, promotions, success after success — it’s what we’re all supposed to want, right?
And then we have kids.
One parent took to the Reddit /parenting group to ask, “Anyone else give up on the corporate ladder after having kids?” The original poster (OP) shared that they’ve been in corporate America for 16 years, starting off as a customer service rep making $16/hour to now bringing in six figures in the software development department of the same company. The OP said that going farther and farther up the ladder was always their intention, and that they often worked weekends and far past their 5 p.m. day cutoff to make sure that happened.
“Then kids came along and I really don’t give a crap about climbing anyone’s ladder. I don’t want to be a director, I don’t want more work responsibilities, and in fact, I’m still on my 5 p.m. departure schedule and at 4:50, I’m packing up to get the hell out of there immediately and go home,” OP wrote. “Work went from top two on my list to probably somewhere near the bottom, and being with my family is now number one. Times have changed pretty dramatically.”
And according to comments, they definitely aren’t alone.
“Yep! As soon as mine were born, it became less about ‘I want to be successful and make a ton of money’ and more of ‘I just want to be financially secure, give my kids a good start to their lives, and spend time with them,’” one commenter wrote. They added that any job or promotion that requires nights or weekends is a no. “I’d rather just stay at my current level forever.”
“I’m on the hunt, myself, and I already know my career has stagnated (but I’ve had a lot of time for my family so I’m fine with it) but I’m actively looking for jobs which are barely a step up from my current/last job just so I don’t have to take on more responsibility,” another shared.
“Yep, the only people in my life I want to be the best version of myself for is my kids and husband,” another wrote. “I’m not going to bomb at work because I need the money to feed said kids, but they will get exactly 75% of me and nothing more. I’ve worked my ass off too hard for too little for me to ever feel like giving 100% to a corporation is worth it.”
But other commenters were quick to point out that while they don’t want a high-stress job that takes them away from their family, the allure of more money is definitely still there.
“I don’t at all BUT there are days the ‘What if i can make more $ for my family?’ creeps in,” one commenter wrote.
One mom shared that she feels the opposite of OP, and actually works harder now and wants to achieve more since having kids. “I want my daughter to have financial security and a comfortable life, something my childhood lacked. I also want her to see women not just staying at home, which is part of the reason I love her preschool. It’s all high achieving parents.”
Another mom added that she was fine giving up the corporate ladder, but not the academic one. “I enrolled in a master degree after leaving the corporate world and loved it. I got pregnant in the end, presented my thesis 8 months pregnant. I was OK with being a SAHM, but now I really miss my academic career,” she wrote. “I think I will be a PhD candidate when my kids (I intend to have more) get to school age. I was hoping to wait until they were in high school, but I think I can’t wait so much.”
Bottom line: it’s all about what you’re passionate about. Of course it’s normal for work to become less of a priority and for family to be the only thing that matters, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up all your dreams or aspirations. You reconfigure, work hard at what matters, and stop letting the rest stress you out.
This Reddit thread is also a great reminder that there’s nothing wrong with being content. There seems to be so much pressure to go, go, go and to get bigger promotions and make more money and achieve more and more things. But if you’re happy doing whatever it is you’re doing — whether it’s a corporate job or a part-time gig — then why mess with a good thing?
And seriously, no matter what you’re doing for work — leave when you’re supposed to. Do good work, but don’t give away your soul. Keep your own work ethic and make yourself proud without sacrificing any of your life. It’s easier said than done, but it’s important.
