Being laid off is bad enough. Falling victim to “strategic realignment” or “the growth playbook”? That’s just adding insult to injury.
Last week, Amazon shared a memo sent to staff as the company implemented mass layoffs. The post detailed the overall reduction in its corporate workforce of 14,000 roles (about 4% of its white-collar workforce).
While news of the layoffs attracted media attention, the focus across social media wasn’t so much on the contents of the memo as the headline itself: “Staying nimble and continuing to strengthen our organizations.”
“Corporate buzzword masterclass,” Morning Brew wrote in a now-viral post on X. “You weren’t fired, you were part of our ongoing nimblization initiative,” one X user responded.
It’s the type of corporate-speak that we’ve come to expect as companies continue to lay off sizable numbers of employees.
“I thought ‘restructuring’ was a good one, ‘staying nimble’ is an even funnier way to say mass layoffs,” another quote tweeted.
“POV: you are about to get nimbled,” one joked.
On November 3, Amazon announced a multiyear strategic partnership with OpenAI to the tune of $38 billion. The layoffs are part of a restructuring meant to “reduce bureaucracy” and “remove organizational layers,” according to the memo.
Amazon is not alone. UPS, Target, Nestlé, and Paramount joined the growing list of companies laying off employees this year. YouTube also quietly introduced voluntary exit packages for employees who are willing to take the first hit, according to an internal memo first reported by Alex Heath’s Sources AI newsletter.
The impressive linguistic gymnastics when announcing job cuts are intended to assuage those on the receiving end. But more often than not they have the opposite effect. “Sometimes, you just have to laugh at the absurdity,” a Reddit user posted back in 2023 in the popular subreddit r/Layoffs. “I lost one job to ‘Enabling our future.’ I lost the next one to ‘The Growth Playbook.’”
A report from outplacement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas showed almost 950,000 U.S. job cuts this year through September, the highest levels seen since the pandemic. At the same time, more than one in four workers without jobs have been unemployed for at least half a year.
Whether it’s a “streamlining processes,” “rightsizing,” or “realigning,” the end result is the same: Another influx of workers added to the stagnant pool of unemployed.
Times are tough. Stay nimble out there.
