During a public address after her husband’s death, Erika Kirk said, “If he ever ran for office, his top priority would be to revive the American family.” That’s because Charlie Kirk knew marriage was vital for the well-being of our country and revitalization of the American Dream.
Today, marriage has little protection under our laws — a fact of which Charlie was acutely aware.
“We have two amazing kids so far. We’re happier than we’ve ever been … No-fault divorce and radical feminism are abominations,” Charlie posted on X less than two months before he was assassinated. “We should not attack God’s design because modern laws and cultural rot have tarnished them. We should work to restore the sanctity of marriage.”
Nothing has done more to harm marriage and family than our nationwide system of no-fault divorce. In 48 states, these laws are unilateral, sanctioning one spouse to divorce the other, merely by alleging the marriage is irretrievably broken or irreconcilable. Defendant spouses are barred from contesting lawsuits for divorce. As such, these laws violate the fundamental due-process safeguards of the 14th Amendment.
It wasn’t always this way. But during the five decades these laws have been in effect, millions of families have been forcibly split. Marriage rates have plummeted to historically low levels. Families have suffered on every measure of well-being.
Despite the strong link between no-fault divorce and our nation’s ills — including the connection between divorce and school shootings, fatherless homes and criminality in boys — conservatives have chosen to focus primarily on same-sex marriage, which accounts for only 1 percent of marriages. Meanwhile, heterosexual marriages and the traditional family have begun to disintegrate.
Only a few conservatives, like Vice-President JD Vance and former HUD Secretary Ben Carson, who spoke at Charlie Kirk’s memorial, even criticize no-fault divorce. For most conservative leaders, divorce reform is a personal and political bridge too far.
Some are clearly guided by self-interest. Divorce is big business for family courts and family lawyers.
Two decades ago, my husband and the father of my children had an affair and left. At the time, New York had not adopted no-fault divorce. But I had made a sacred promise, so I contested my husband’s lawsuit and prevailed. But he moved to New Jersey, which had adopted no-fault, and we were eventually divorced. New York enacted no-fault divorce one year later.
I began writing about my experiences in liberal outlets. Chris Gersten, former Principal Deputy Assistant Secretary, Department of Health and Human Services, saw my articles and reached out. This could be an opportunity for liberals and conservatives to join forces in educating the public about marriage and advocating for modest reforms to help troubled parents in low-conflict marriages? Leaders we met with behind closed doors in Washington thought so, although I wonder how many would say so in public.
Calls for family tax benefits are all well and good, but no amount of tax breaks, conservative rhetoric, or exhortations to “get married” will on their own move hearts and minds of young people disillusioned by the mess of marriage their parents and grandparents have made. They are scared of commitment. I have seen it in their eyes during a recent talk to young Catholics. Half are children of divorce. They recognize hypocrisy when they see it.
As a Catholic, Erika Kirk intimately understands the importance of marriage. Pope Francis reiterated many times that marriage and family were in crisis. Early on, Pope Leo XIV said that the world needs marriage “to defeat … the forces that break down relationships and societies.”
Catholics were once the guardians of marriage. Until New York enacted no-fault divorce, the New York Catholic dioceses stood strong against this heinous law. But today, Catholic marriage and annulment statistics track the secular culture. Over 426,000 U.S. Catholic weddings occurred in 1969; today, weddings total less than 100,000 per year. In 1968, hardly 350 annulments were granted nationwide; by 1989, the tally had risen to 70,000. The scandal of easy annulments continues and is well-documented. Still, you won’t find divorce or annulment reform on the Church’s policy agenda.
Overturning no-fault divorce would not be easy. And fulfilling Charlie’s dream might mean Erika Kirk loses the friendship of many powerful secular and Catholic leaders praising her husband’s legacy. She is likewise a child of divorce. But she has fared far better on economic and educational terms than so many of her peers from broken homes.
Some have taken Charlie’s death as a rallying cry for a spiritual revival. But that renewal will be incomplete without a call to revitalize marriage and family at its core. As the Catholic Catechism states, marriage is an “image of the absolute and unfailing love with which God loves man.” And so, if, by our actions, we show our nation the beauty of marriage, we will inevitably show them God.
Beverly Willett is an author, a retired New York City litigator and entertainment attorney, and a divorce reform advocate.
