I was talking to a friend of mine from a previous area, on the phone. He’s someone I sponsored and mentored during my time at the Salvation Army in that city.
He had called to let me know that he had gotten into trouble. He had gotten into a car accident, while drinking, and received a third DUI. And that he was most likely going to have to spend about a year in prison.
I myself am recovered from a drinking problem, many years ago, so I can see what he’s going through from a unique perspective.
What do you say to someone in that circumstance? He knows he did something wrong. He takes responsibility for it. He didn’t try to make excuses. So I told him something I’ve come to believe very deeply, that often these things that we experience, though they seem to be taking us downward, and deeper into darkness, it may actually be creating a scenario in which your ego is so thoroughly humbled, that you are finally ready and able to give yourself entirely to God.
Can walking through a time of great darkness actually lead to an even greater light?
St. John of the Cross wrote on this topic in his work “The Dark Night of the Soul.” St. John of the Cross was born in 1542 and served as a Spanish roman catholic priest.
St. John went through many difficult experiences in his life, and wrote about the dark night of the soul, as a poem, that he later wrote commentary on, that became the book we have today.
I want to share some of the poem with you, it’s pretty brief, but powerful. I’m going to share it in modern English, the old English is kind of hard to follow.
It says this: “The Dark Night of the Soul
by St. John of the Cross — modern English rendering”
1 On a dark night,
burning with love and longing,
oh, the sheer grace!
I went out unseen,
my house now stilled and sleeping.
2 Hidden by the night,
and by the secret stair I fled —
oh, the joy, the thrill! —
hidden from sight,
my house at peace and resting.
3 In that blessed night,
in secret, no one saw me,
nor did I see a thing —
my light and guide
was only that which burned inside my heart.
4 It guided me,
truer than the noonday sun,
to where the One was waiting —
the One I knew so well —
in a place where no one else appeared.
5 Oh night, you were my guide!
Oh night, kinder than the dawn!
Oh night that joined
the Lover with the beloved,
beloved transformed in the Lover!”
He wrote this beautiful poem to express a simple spiritual truth that we’re going to explore today. The fact is, that seasons of profound darkness, though painful, lead to great spiritual breakthroughs, and ultimately a concept he calls union with the Lord or “divine union.”
For this purpose we turn today to Psalm 88. Of all the 150 psalms in the Bible, this psalm is most certainly the darkest. This will be the low point, the rock bottom experience, of the series we’re going through, healing journey.
But I deeply believe, we must touch this moment, before we can rise to greater levels of spiritual growth.
Psalm 88 was written by a man named Heman the Ezrahite. Heman was a skilled singer and song writer, considered one of the wisest men of his time. He would’ve served as a singer during the time of King David, and Solomon was compared to to Heman, saying that Solomon was even wiser than Heman. He was part of the tribe of the Levites, and he was the grandson of Samuel the prophet. He may have had a tough upbringing, because we know that Samuel’s sons did not follow Samuel’s ways, and perverted justice. His father was one of those two sons, named Joel.
Psalm 88 begins like this: (v1-2) “Lord, you are the God who saves me; day and night I cry out to you.
May my prayer come before you;
turn your ear to my cry.”
We see this psalm starts with trust. He trusts God’s character. He views God as the God who saves. He’s praying day and night for God’s help. He’s crying out and waiting for an answer. It’s not so different from many situations we’ve all been in. Needing an answer, calling out to God.
Next, verses 3-4: “3 I am overwhelmed with troubles
and my life draws near to death.
4 I am counted among those who go down to the pit;
I am like one without strength.”
This is someone who is overwhelmed. The situation they are facing is too much. Their ability to handle it is a 10, but the situation is at a 12. It’s over the line.
In fact this situation is so severe he feels near death. So this isn’t any run of the mill situation, where aunt Susie has a sprained ankle or something, this is serious. Or, at least it’s a combination of situations all occurring at the same time, to culminate into something that is overwhelming.
The journey downward has begun. This is a journey I can best relate to my journey downward in ministry. I had been a new pastor at the Salvation Army, brash, excited, new, thinking he was all that, and this led to a fall. Several things all together happened, loneliness, depression, bad stomach problems over a long period, ego and self will, the corps struggling financially, and two of my senior leaders leaving the church. Then my dearest companion, my favorite cat, Sunshine was her name, passed away as well. All these things produced a downward spiral.
The walk down the dark stairs had come. And I had had other rock bottom experiences, particularly prior to salvation, in my twenties, when I was fleeing from the Lord and chasing pleasure.
Heman the psalmist feels like he’s going down to the bottom of the pit. He says he feels like one without strength. That is so hard, when you’re already going through something hard, and you also feel weak physically, or emotionally. It makes it so much worse. He is down in a pit, and without strength to deal with it.
St John of the Cross writes about this experience of going into darkness, as a journey of purification through suffering. This experience helps remove improper attachments, and clears away inadequate views of who God is, and changes our thinking profoundly, to produce something beautiful through the darkness.
Next, verse 5: “I am set apart with the dead,
like the slain who lie in the grave,
whom you remember no more,
who are cut off from your care.”
In the dark moments of our lives, we feel it so strongly. We take those steps downward, and we weep as we do. Our emotions are so strong. They overwhelm us. And we feel martyred by life, struck down. There have been a handful of times in my life where the circumstances were so severe I really did feel martyred, crushed, and ruined.
During my parents divorce I got expelled from high school, and I was using pills to make it feel better, my friends abandoned me, and a girl I’d liked for years had rejected me. And I remember laying on the floor one day in the basement in my room and I simply felt ruined, leveled.
Next, verses 6-9, Heman writes: “6 You have put me in the lowest pit, in the darkest depths.
7 Your wrath lies heavily on me;
you have overwhelmed me with all your waves.
8 You have taken from me my closest friends
and have made me repulsive to them.
I am confined and cannot escape;
9 my eyes are dim with grief.”
This is the lowest point of the psalm. He has reached rock bottom itself. He feels the wrath of God on him. He is overwhelmed by wave after wave of anxiety, fear, and sorrow and he’s also isolated, his close friends have left him. He feels confined, like in a prison cell, he senses there is no escape, and his eyes have changed, gone dim with grief.
When someone is hurting deeply, you can see it in their eyes. The eyes are the window to the soul.
Have you felt this way in your life? What scenario are you thinking of in your own life that relates to the dark night? Remember this: There was a purpose in your suffering. It was not for nothing. And don’t necessarily assume God created the scenario you’re thinking of, he may not have, because sinful things happen in a sinful world. Then again maybe God did send the scenario that happened. Or He at least used the pain to do a work in your soul.
There is a profound purpose to these dark nights of the soul. They have a reason. They do a mighty work in us. It’s never pleasant at the time, but after we soon discover, I’m radically different than I used to be. I’ve become a different, more spiritually mature person, more devoted, more victorious, more humble, and my view of God has changed.
My view of God has changed so many times. For a time, God to me was a doctrine, then a vague belief, soon he was a mystery, now today, he is a burning fire of Holy love in my soul. I went from seeing God as a far off being, to seeing Jesus Christ as my personal best friend and King. These changes often required dark nights of the soul to develop.
Next verses 9-12: “9 I call to you, Lord, every day;
I spread out my hands to you.
10 Do you show your wonders to the dead?
Do their spirits rise up and praise you?
11 Is your love declared in the grave,
your faithfulness in Destruction?
12 Are your wonders known in the place of darkness,
or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?”
I believe verses 9-12 are prophetic. The psalmist is asking these questions, and the answers to these questions point forward to a time that had not yet come for Heman, the time when the suffering messiah would live, and prove true the things Heman writes here.
The NASB renders verse 10, “Will you show wonders to the dead?”
“Do the departed spirits rise up and praise you?”
Again the answer is yes, the deceased spirits of humans in Christ rise up, and worship God in heaven, they are worshiping right now!
“Is your love declared in the grave?” I know an empty grave that declared holy love! It is declared in the empty tomb, the grave of Jesus Christ, declaring the love of God to a lost world, because Jesus had risen from the dead! He is alive.
“Is God’s faithfulness declared in abaddon, the place of destruction?”
Are your wonders known in the place of darkness, or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?”
Verse 11-12 points us back to the current struggle of Heman. Is this deep darkness he’s experiencing really a wonder of God in his life?
That is what St. John of the Cross tells us in his book “The Dark Night of the Soul.” These dark seasons we go through are actually paradoxically moments that bring great light after, huge shifts in our lives toward the living God.
St. John of the Cross wrote: “In the dark night of the soul bright flows the river of God”
When we feel outright oblivion is there actually a great blessing hidden in this? Is the passage through the dark tunnel actually leading to a deeper union with God? Dare we even say, that this could mean that the dark journey through the tunnel was actually worth it?
Next, verses 13-14 “13 But I cry to you for help, Lord;
in the morning my prayer comes before you.
14 Why, Lord, do you reject me
and hide your face from me?”
The dark season feels like rejection from the Lord, but it really isn’t. He has not rejected you in those hard times. Let your prayers continue to rise up to Him.
The psalmist continues with his lament, verses 15-16:
“15 From my youth I have suffered and been close to death;
I have borne your terrors and am in despair.
16 Your wrath has swept over me;
your terrors have destroyed me.”
I believe it is very pleasing to the Lord that we lament in our dark night of the soul. The word “lament” means to grieve, to mourn, to weep, to express sorrow.
So, how do we respond to the dark night of the soul, even knowing that it will bring us closer to God? Should we celebrate? No, we should express our sorrow. This is biblical. There is an entire book of the bible dedicated to lamenting, it’s called Lamentations.
Yet I think in the midst of the mourning, we can come to a place, by God’s grace, where we turn to the Lord, and say, “Thank you God for this struggle, for I know it’s making me more like Jesus.” In a moment, I want to give all of us an opportunity to thank God for the struggle. But first, last two verses.
Verses 17-18: “17 All day long they surround me like a flood;
they have completely engulfed me.
18 You have taken from me friend and neighbor—
darkness is my closest friend.”
The psalm concludes with Heman declaring, that the dark night of the soul has completely engulfed him, like flood waters rushing through a city. His house has been swept away. His very self has been swept away. He is alone, with no friends or neighbors, he is defeated, crushed, and he even says darkness is his closest friend.
And that is how the psalm ends. No other psalm in the bible ends on such a dark note except for Psalm 88.
This is a man who has been engulfed by the dark night. Does the story end there? Is it over for him? I don’t believe so. For on the other side of the dark night, there comes the day. And the dark night has had great effect.
His “self” has been swept away, his ego, his old way of being. He has died to self. And I believe, on the other side of this event, Heman rose again from the ashes, a new man, humbled, renewed, strengthened, and stronger than before, closer with God, united with God, all the ego swept away, with God at the center. (But I honestly can’t prove that from scripture, because we don’t find our how the story ends.)
But maybe it’s actually good that it ends on this low note. Sometimes when we’re in the midst of something really hard, we don’t need to hear about how it’s all going to be ok. We need to just let ourselves be in a place of sorrow, to express it. It helps us identify our pain, and let it have it’s place.
Sometimes the hardest thing when I’m mourning, is to have someone come along and try to cheer me up. I don’t want to be cheered up, I need to grieve this, and when I’m through the grief, then I want to be cheered up, but not yet. If you’re there today, know that it’s ok to be grieved for a time. Proverb 25:20 deals with this.
But for the sake of those of us here who are ready for the step beyond the dark night into the light, we move forward to the dawn. St. John of the cross tells us in his book, that the purpose in the two types of dark nights he talks about, the dark night of the senses and the dark night of the spirit, is to bring us along a pathway of death to self, where we let go of ego, let go of pride, let go of improper attachments, and find a state in which we are in union with God. The dark night of the senses is more common, and affects our sense of God’s presence with us, the dark night of the spirit is more rare and much deeper. The goal in each: Deeper union with God.
If you remember, Jesus prayed for his disciples in the upper room, that they would be one with God, in John 17, truly and completely united with God. A heart union. St. John of the Cross makes the case that this can only happen when we go through the dark nights of the soul, but, on the other end, we find ourselves transformed, we find our view of God transformed, and we rise up on eagles wings, with new spiritual strength, set free to experience the depths of God’s heart.
We’re told in the Bible to give thanks in all circumstances. We often thank God for good things. But can we also thank God for the dark night of the soul.
Would you pray this simple prayer with me today:
“Thank you God for the struggle I’m going through, for I know it’s making me more like Jesus.”
Closing Prayer: Lord Jesus, heal our bitterness, from these dark times. Heal us from the pain, from the memories, heal us from the grief and lament. We thank you for your love shed abroad in our hearts, that overwhelms and heals the pain. You are so very good to us. In the darkness, we trust you. In Jesus name, amen.
