Self-growth requires two things parents often lack: time and energy. Between cleaning messes, cooking meals, and managing extracurriculars, the average parent gets just two hours a week to focus on personal development.
Growth doesn’t stop when you become a parent. Raising children offers lifelong learning. Yet, for parents used to measuring their success in qualifications and promotions, it often doesn’t feel like growth—especially when you’re sleep-deprived and energy-drained. To them, professional development and personal development are one and the same. It’s no wonder 50% are left feeling as if parenthood has hijacked or delayed their growth.
As Headway’s productivity coach, I’ve seen this situation play out all too many times. Working parents worry they’re falling behind, so they spend every spare second they have trying to catch up, often sacrificing their sleep, social life, and self-care.
It’s mentally taxing and typically leads to self-doubt, burnout, and parents putting their career growth on pause rather than any meaningful progress.
Ambition on hold: Self-improvement is designed for the childless
Growing by almost 5% annually, the global personal development market is on track to reach $69 billion by 2032. With a constant flow of new material from leading experts, it’s never been easier to improve yourself. Unless, of course, you’re a parent.Â
When the best self-help books span hundreds of pages, for those lucky to find two hours a week for themselves, it’s a nonstarter.
Parents aren’t excluded from growth by ability or desire, but by design. The booming self-improvement industry simply wasn’t built for those without free evenings and quiet weekends.
Parents might not be reading a book a week or asking for career development funding, but they still want to learn.
They do, and they try, sneaking in learning while the children are napping, during their commute, or over the weekend instead of resting. But it rarely sticks.
And when it doesn’t, it can feel like failure. That sense of falling behind fosters frustration, discouragement, and hopelessness. While the most laborious moments of parenthood are temporary, 41% admit that having children has sapped their ambition, and 18% say it has “destroyed” their career prospects.Â
But it doesn’t have to be that way. With the right tools and approach, parents can keep learning and growing without burning out or putting their children second.
Burp, feed, learn, repeat: Making self-growth possible for parents
Traditional approaches to self-growth—long courses, bulky books, and complicated apps—aren’t compatible with the realities of raising children.
What parents need is short and flexible content and tools that enable micro-learning, enabling them to make progress in small pockets of time without making learning draining or burdensome.
Studies show it’s no less effective. In fact, micro-learning can boost knowledge retention by as much as 20%. Even small amounts of consistent learning add up, making progress possible for parents without feeling like they’re sacrificing in other areas of life or constantly falling behind.
How to maintain your self-growth during parenthood (without losing sleep)
If it feels like you have to choose between parenting and personal development, here’s how you can banish the self-doubt and get your self-growth back on track:
Set realistic goals: Hustle culture insists we should sleep less and do more, but it doesn’t work. Burnout isn’t effective for learning. You’ll just spend your free time worrying about your job performance, stressing over your home life, and questioning whether you should give up.
Speak to your employer: Your productivity may slump, but your employer already knows you’re capable. Have the conversation and ask how they can support you. They might offer a few hours out of the workday each week for personal development or cover the cost of a micro-learning subscription.
Show yourself compassion: Parenthood is never easy, despite what some claim. You will face interruptions, skip days, and completely forget things you learned five minutes ago. That’s normal, so show yourself some compassion. Learning to be kinder to yourself is still a form of growth, even if it doesn’t come with a certificate or qualification.
Remember, this isn’t forever: “My career is over,” “The person I was is gone,” “I’ll never achieve my goals.” It’s easy to fall into a mindset of doom and gloom, but that’s the sleep deprivation talking. Kids grow up, demand less time, and normalcy resumes.
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