Courtesy of Bethaney Phillips
- My family and I moved back to my small hometown in Kansas four years ago to be closer to family.
- It’s been a good decision for everyone.
- My kids are closer to their cousins and grandparents, and my husband and I get more support.
Four years ago, my spouse and I moved from Georgia to my small hometown in Kansas. We wanted our boys, now 6 and 8, to grow up near family.
Not only is our current home where I grew up, but it’s also where most of my paternal family lives. That includes my parents and brother, three sets of aunts and uncles, plus four of my cousins and their families. And that’s just IN town, with more cousins living within an hour’s drive.
Living so close to family means my kids are growing up with their cousins
It’s ideal for playdates and sports; my sons often play on the same teams as the other kids in our family, and even when they’re playing against each other, we get to see everyone in action.
In our local elementary school, there are seven cousins (actually second cousins — my kids, and my cousins’ kids), with three of them in the same grade. Next year, two more will join them as they enter kindergarten. My mom also works at the school and brings my kids home daily. Having so many close in age also means we can carpool in a pinch, have playdates, or share information on upcoming events.
Once the kids get older, they’ll be allowed to host and attend sleepovers with their cousins. In a time where this childhood norm has become taboo, I’m excited that there are adults we trust enough so our kids can have these memories.
Sometimes, the playdates and support we offer are planned; at other times, these things happen at the last minute. I can send my kids to family without worrying, because I know I trust them.
My husband and I also get more time together, and more support
With my parents living nearby, it also means my husband and I get more nights out. If we have something scheduled — or if it’s been about a month — our kids and my parents let us know it’s time for a sleepover with their grandparents. Sometimes we are heading to a party or a night out with friends, and other times we watch an R-rated movie and sleep in. Either way, everyone is happy.
Courtesy of Bethaney Phillips
My parents also watch them for quick, last-minute visits. My youngest often asks to go to Grammy’s house after school. If she’s not busy, she’ll pick him up within 20 minutes of the ask, leaving me to clean in peace. It happens so often that, while he’s on his way home, it’s not uncommon for my husband to ask if he needs to pick up the kids from their house; other times, he’ll walk in the door and wonder where they’ve landed.
Or, this summer, when I needed to run errands and the kids preferred to stay home, I called my retired dad to man the fort while I was away. Again, everyone was happy.
There are downsides to living in such a small town (my Southern husband doesn’t love the winter weather, for example), but it’s ideal for raising our family.
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