
What if the way you handle emotions—yours and others’—is the difference between leading well and missing the mark? Well, that’s where emotional intelligence comes in.
But what if you had insight into saying the right things at the right moment to build stronger connections in the process? Would that be a gamne changer for you?
Emotional intelligence shows up in the way we talk to people, especially when things get tense, uncertain, or emotional.
Choosing your words with the skills of EQ
It’s not about being perfect or having all the answers. It’s about being aware of what you’re feeling, paying attention to how others are doing, and choosing words that connect instead of shut things down.
Hard to do for some, I know, but if you’re leading a team, the way you communicate can either build trust or quietly erode it.
Here are five core emotional intelligence skills—each with practical ways to show them through simple, everyday phrases you can start practicing today.
1. What to say to display empathy
Empathy means showing people you see what they’re going through. You don’t have to solve their problem or offer advice. Just saying something like “That sounds really tough. Want to talk about it?” or “I get why this would be frustrating” tells someone they’re not alone. These small moments help people feel understood—and that matters more than we often realize.
2. What to say to show self-awareness
This crucial EQ skill is about noticing your own reactions and being honest about what’s behind them. If you’ve snapped at someone or feel off, it can sound like “I’ve been a bit distracted today—there’s a lot on my plate.” Or “That topic gets under my skin, and I’m working on that.” Here’s the thing: owning your emotions doesn’t make you weak; it makes you real. And real earns respect.
3. What to say to show emotional regulation
The skill of emotional regularion is staying steady when emotions run high. It’s not about shutting down feelings; it’s about not letting them run the show. You might say, “I want to respond thoughtfully, so I’m going to take a minute,” or “Let’s revisit this tomorrow when we’ve both had time to think.” That pause gives space for better conversations and fewer regrets.
4. What to say to display relationship management
This is using emotional awareness to navigate conversations in a way that keeps people connected, even when you disagree. It sounds like “I want us to be on the same page—can we talk this through?” or “I appreciate your perspective. Let’s figure out how to move forward together.” It’s about making it clear that the relationship matters as much as the issue at hand.
5. What to say to show active listening
Yes, this is definetely a skill of emotional intelligence. It’s more than nodding while you wait your turn to talk. When someone’s sharing something important, phrases like “So what I’m hearing is…” or “Tell me more about what’s behind that” show you’re actually engaged. People can tell when you’re really listening and it builds trust faster than anything else.
— By Marcel Schwantes
This article originally appeared on Fast Company’s sister publication, Inc.
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